Themed list: odd/rare jobs

Posted on November 9, 2007
Filed Under HP themed lists |

NB comments are temporarily disabled due to spam bots. I’ll turn them back on later.

This list of fics featuring odd/rare jobs is for two people at once, frogslayr and Spinfrog (coincidence, I swear! :D) both of whom requested it.

To quote Spinfrog: “I mean, say, Harry, he always ends up an Auror or a Quiddich player.. or teaching DADA.. Or Remus always gets a job in a bookstore… Draco becomes next Potions Genius… Hermione is the Unspeakable.. not that there is anything wrong with it, but wouldn’t it be nice if there were more fics where Draco became an accountant, all boring and prim, or Harry became a monk, fighting temptations of the flesh, and Snape joins a traveling Muggle circus and does backflips or something! (That’s why Harry is fighting the temptation - his whole monastery went to the circus, and there was Snape in that skin-tight sparkly outfit!) And Hermione the construction worker! Can’t have her forced into any “girly” job, can we now… or… Ron opens a muggle bakery and makes really great bread, but he also gets fat… well, you know! Just because one is good at physics in High School, doesn’t mean one will work for NASA, and just because one is the captain of their school’s Judo team, doesn’t mean they are the world’s next Judo champion…”

Pay close attention to the rules! They are tricky.

RULES

What I take:

- fics that feature a character doing a job that we haven’t seen in any fanfic but this one. You get the gist. Snape runs a nursery? Draco is a driver? Lucius works as a plumber? Hermione is a hairdresser? Great! Bring them here!
- look at what jobs I’ve seen many times, so you shouldn’t bother suggesting them in King Draco’s Code below.
- we should actually see them work. If the job is only mentioned, such a fic won’t qualify!

King Draco’s Code:

- no fics where one of the characters works as a doctor/Mediwizard/therapist; they go to a separate list, Mediwizardry.
- the same with writers, artists, musicians, sculptors; prostitutes, and journalists (for which I’m planning a list).
- no non-magic AUs or AUs set in non-Harry verse.
- no x-overs.
- I’d prefer no fics where the characters (on whatever reason) had to run away and live as Muggles. Let them be on the Muggle list; fics where somebody has lost his/her memory and works as a Muggle [insert a rather insignificant occupation] go to either Disability list, section “Amnesia” or to the Muggle list (with one or two exceptions taken here for the really unique occupation); or other “fled to live among Muggles scenarios.” I just don’t want to do the same thing several times.

- won’t be considered rare the following kinds of jobs:
for anybody: work at the Ministry of Magic (except Voldemort); prostitution (they go to the prostitution list); detective work, security firms/agencies and such (they go to the detective fics list, being a student/apprentice anywhere; Dark Lord (such fics go to the Dark Lords list).
for Harry: snake breeder, any teaching job or headmastership, Auror or other Ministry employee, Quidditch, Minister or any other MoM official, Potions-related jobs, working for WWW.
for Snape: anything Potions-related (including running a shop), teaching/headmastership.
for Draco: Auror/Ministry employee, modelling business, Quidditch, teacher at Hogwarts, assistant in a bookshop, anything to do with Potions, head of a foundation, anything to do with banking/investment.
for Hermione: any teaching or researching job; Ministry work (including Minister for Magic), Potions-related jobs.
for Remus: teaching, shop assistant, anything to do with bookshops, Ministry employee in his after-Hogwarts years, any jobs in his ‘lost years’ that might have led to his Defense expertise.
for Ron: Quidditch, Auror/Ministry employee.
for Lucius: investment/banking; Ministry employee/Minister.

- no WIPs that have only a chapter or two written;
- no drabbles;
- do not bring fics you haven’t read;
- do not bring fics you didn’t like;
- do not bring fics the authors of which show no grammar or spelling skill even if you liked them;
- do me a courtesy, please, do not leave only a link. I’d be really grateful if you tell me (besides the title and author) whether the fic is a WIP or completed, what the pairings and the rating are. Also, when suggesting fics, please, tell me who has a rare job and what job it is. You’ll spare me hours of reading the fics that won’t qualify. Thanks in advance!

The fics are sorted in alphabetical order by TITLE (articles excluded).

Special marks:

# - liked
## - loved
NR - have not read
new - added in the last month or so
*** before a fic means that I’ve seen this character do this job more than once and will remove the fic from the list if I see it one more time.

These are NOT my recs; it’s just a themed listing.

1-900… by Uozumi NR
Sirius/Remus; R; chaptered fic. AU. Summary: “No one would ever hire a werewolf, not even a muggle as Remus Lupin painfully finds out at every job interview imaginable. Then, one day, he winds up behind the phone at a phone sex hotline, half wondering how he got there…” Remus gets a job as a phone sex operator.

ab epistulis, by autumnlecroix #
Harry/Draco; M, novel-length. Summary: “A future fic that takes place when Draco is 30, living in Edinburgh, Scotland. Draco owns a bookstore and ends up developing a correspondence with the author of his favorite novel. Through a series of letters, they learn more about each other than either thought possible and end up forging an unusual relationship that would not have been possible 15 years ago.” Harry is a writer, owns a orphanage, Draco owns and runs a ‘network’ of Wizard/Muggle bookshops.

Accidental Voyeur series, by Tayefeth (or here)
Snape/Harry; PG-13. Harry is the public face of a charity Hermione runs (placing Squibs with the families of Muggle-born wizards and vice versa). We see him interviewing a Hogwarts professor and her Squib daughter in Appointment, the fifth story in the series.

*** All the Substance of His House, by Rinsbane ## (locked)
Snape/Harry, NC-17, novella. Summary: “Ten years after the end of the war, Harry decides that he’s going to rebuild and move into his parents’ old house at Godric’s Hollow. He soon discovers that he isn’t the first person with this idea.” Harry’s a restaurateur. Draco’s a solicitor, and so is Percy.

Alpha Watch Archives. I: Sin For Me, by Furiosity (or here) #
Harry/Draco; R, novella. Summary: “Harry never expected the peace to last forever. Dumbledore taught him better than that. He just didn’t expect the next war to begin less than a month after Voldemort died. Never would he have dreamed that it would be a man’s personal war against a system. The wizarding world was that system, and Harry was that man.” Harry and Draco are running for the Minister.

Anniversary, by RaeWhit (joanwilder) (or here)
Harry/Snape; NC-17, novella. Summary: “After Voldemort is defeated on Harry’s eighteenth birthday, the Headmaster makes a deathbed request: that Harry and Snape spend the anniversary of that victory alone together, every year, until they are magically released from the obligation. This is the story of the seven anniversaries that follow, and of the mutual animosity that was transformed into something altogether unexpected.” Harry studies for and becomes a designer.

The Astronaut Phase, by george pushdragon (fee absinthe) ##
Harry/Draco, NC-17, 17K words. A/N: “This is for twistedm. It’s a little bit of Harry/Draco whimsy inspired by her comment that rather than casting Ginny as a villain, she prefers to see her “doing something amazing and feminist and far, far away”.” Ginny is the first wizarding astronaut. Draco’s job is rare too but to name it would be a huge spoiler.

Bent Boys and Lost Lovers, by thelastgoodname
Ron/Remus, Charlie/Harry, short. Warning: character death. Summary: “Ron Weasley is an adult now, even if he doesn’t much want to be.” Ron works as an activist for a non-profit Hermione has set up.

Better The Devil You Know, by chaeldub
Harry/Draco, NC-17, ~14800 words. Team Epilogue. Warnings: Infidelity, misuse of magic, self-harm(inflicted by another), angst, mentions of character death. Summary: Any chain is freely worn. You are enslaved only because you allow it. Through the passing of time, Harry comes to realise we are each our own Devil. Draco co-owns former Borgin and Burke’s.

Binding Rituals, by Leni Jess (or here) #
Snape/Hermione; NC-17, short. Summary: “Bookbinding sounds dull, doesn’t it? But Hermione Granger’s life is full of exciting incidents, even if it lacks Severus Snape.” Hermione is a Bookbinder.

Blue Vase, by Ivy Blossom (or here) ##
Harry/Draco; PG-13, short. Summary: “Let’s pretend.” Harry is a typesetter.

Body Merchants, by ou_topos #
Draco/Snape; R, short. Snape and Draco work as Wizarding undertakers.

Bottoms Up, by Aucta Sinistra (or here) #
Harry/Snape; NC-17, novelette, humour. Summary: “Written for Harry Humor: Er. Harry-in-disguise encounters Snape-on-holiday?” Harry as a bartender/bar owner.

Boxing Day, by yeats #
Harry/Draco; NC-17, one-shot. Summary: “After the war is won and the world is made anew, Harry Potter finds he doesn’t understand this one nearly as well as the old.” Draco is a smuggler.

Breaking all the Rules, by Frayach #
Harry/Draco, Harry/Ginny in the background, NC-17, 22800 words. Team Epilogue. Warnings: Crack!fic, swinging, boys in pink knickers and kitty-ears, rimming, and a couple exceedingly brief het sex scenes. Summary: Malfoy is slowly wringing the last vestiges of pleasure from Harry’s life with all his rules and committees and agendas and reports. Or is he? Draco’s head or president of a scary number of committees and organisations.

The Business of Saving Souls, by RurouniHime
Harry/Draco, NC-17, novella. Summary: “Draco’s world is filled with ghosts, and not all of them are so easily banished.” Draco banishes ghosts.

The Butler Did It, by AbstractConcept
Harry/Lucius; hard R; short. Summary: “The war is over, and now Harry has it made. He should be happy, but there’s a certain sense of dissatisfaction—until he gains control of one Lucius Malfoy.” Lucius serves as Harry’s butler.

Call Me Mr Potter!, by pokari (or here)
Harry/Draco, Sirius/Snape; R; WIP. Summary: “Summary: Harry is a mediwizard especially for children and he is now working as a nanny for Draco’s twins.” Sirius runs and owns a tea-room.

Changing Channels, by The Treacle Tart
Ron/Draco; R, short. Summary: “A new business venture sparks an old rivalry…and hits primetime.” Draco and Ron run competing wizard television stations.

Changing of the Guard, by Lomonaaeren (also on LJ) NR
Harry/Draco, R, novel-length. Summary: Post-DH. Need a perfect stranger? Come to Metamorphosis. Harry Potter runs the business secretly and becomes whoever’s needed for each occasion. Now he’s posing as Draco Malfoy’s “perfect” boyfriend, Brian.” Harry is a professional impersonator.

Charmbreaker, by Orange Crush
Gen; PG-13, one-shot. Summary: “Challenge #31 for remus_reads. Remus is forced to leave school after the Prank. What does he do, and does he stay close with the Marauders?” Remus works as a charmbreaker.

Cheat the Devil, by Leni Jess (or here) #
Snape/Hermione; novelette. Summary: “Severus Snape needs to get away from his past, and possibly from other people’s limiting expectations and his own belief that he deserves nothing better. Several of his former students take a hand.” Hermione develops new potions (and tinkers up old ones to specification from St Mungo’s); Harry develops charms, and runs a nursery on the side to supply Hermione with ingredients.

A Choice of Roads, by Imhilien (Brazen) NR
Snape/Hermione; R; WIP. Summary: “A curious Hermione finds a way to see future visions of life with Harry or Ron. She didn’t expect to see one with the dark Potions Master.” Hermione works as a gardener at a wizarding resort.

Clause and Effect, by Kalena ##
Snape/Harry; G, 7,100 Words of Snape-Flavoured Fluff. Harry owns a chain of perfume shops; Snape works for him.

Completely Abnormal, by Ociwen #
Harry/Draco; PG-13, one-shot. Summary: “Harry’s life takes a turn on a completely abnormal day when Malfoy doesn’t show up to work. Post-Hogwarts.” Draco mops floors at the Ministry.

Corridors of Power, by Blythe(ly) (or here) NR
Harry/Draco; chaptered fic; completed. Summary: “Corridors of Power: Being An Intermittent Account of the Political Misadventures of the Viscount Northallerton, Lord Malfoy of Wimbledon; and the Honourable Harry J Potter, Member of Parliament for North Southwark and Bermondsey (Liberal Democrat).” Harry and Draco are still wizards but they happen to be currently ‘employed’ as Member of Muggle Parliament and Peer of the Realm respectively.

Currency, by Blythe & Circe ##
Harry/Draco, NC-17, novel-lenght. Summary: Harry wasn’t at school any more, nor was he fifteen. He was a successful merchant banker with a flat to die for and an owl who loved him. He wasn’t going to get into a pissing match with a stick-fiddler who’d always driven him mad. Written before DH. Draco is a geeky wandmaker. Harry’s a Muggle investment banker which is a Muggle job, yes, but too rare for Harry not to mention it here.

Days Go By, by corvidae9 #
Harry/Draco, R, 2 chapters. Summary: After a grievous miscommunication that leads to five years apart, Harry has difficulty keeping his life together in the face of Draco’s revenge tactics. The fact that he manages to succeed only makes Draco more intent. (Veela!Draco/Werewolf!Harry) Harry works as a delivery man for Seamus’s firm.

The Death of a Soul, A Blowjob Beneath a Table, and the Rain of Toads That Followed, by Phaballa (or here) #
Harry/Draco; NC-17, novellette. Summary: Severus Snape was dying. Not in the way that one normally thinks of as dying, what with the failing of body and mind and so forth. He was barely fifty years old after all, and considering his genetic makeup (recent history notwithstanding, of course, and adjusting for his rather disgusting Muggle father whose blood would no doubt decrease his life span by no less than five years) Severus had at least another seventy-five years left to live. He was in his prime, really, but instead of being on his third glory-seeking wife and seventh trollopy mistress he was stuck inside this school, dying. Warnings: Gratuitous snark, rimming, slight bondage-y element (it’s really small, you’ll hardly feel it). Harry is a MLES officer, shunned by Aurors.

DIY Messiah, by Scoradh ##
Harry/Draco, Harry/Ginny, R, ~27000 words. Summary: Harry stopped hating Draco Malfoy on Bring Your Kids to Work Day. Draco’s head of the Department of Accounts and Boring Paperwork.

Draco, Merrily On High, by Blythely #
Harry/Draco, Remus/Tonks, PG, short. Summary: “Let Nothing You Dismay, Or, Crazy Carolling Fic.” Draco is a choir director.

Draco, the Magic Dragon, by Sansa #
Harry/Draco, NC-17, novella. Summary: Come to the fair! Draco’s granting wishes, Harry’s investigating a mystery, and Luna’s giving away pants. Crystal balls and kissing, dirty talk and candy floss – and that’s just the beginning. Draco works as a magician at a fair.

Drop Dead Gorgeous, by Maya (mistful) #
Harry/Draco, Draco/Katie Bell; R, WIP. Ron’s the only flying car salesman in the world.

Dystopiary Deluxe, by Jadzialove
Snape/Harry, NC-17, short. Snape is a florist who makes special topiaries.

Else I’d Go Mad, by Odogoddess #
Snape/Ron, NC-17, one-shot. Warnings: Rimming, bj, buggery. Prompt from cnary_crem_dght: “Snape/Ron, Hogwarts Library, Spider, Snape is the new librarian at Hogwarts and Ron is a bit suspicious.”

The Family Clock, by Jan. McNeville NR
Charlie/OFC, with her as a magical clocksmith. WIP, PG-13. Summary: “Ever think of the Weasleys’ clock? A wizarding watchmaker makes friends with our favorite twins in an answer to the Great Mary Sue Problem.”

*** Family Trees, by Lin W aka Nesting Hedwig
Lucius/Harry, Snape/Harry, Neville/Fleur, R. MPreg. Harry runs a nursery with Neville (it has both wizarding and Muggle customers). Summary: This fic is part of the ‘Beloved Enemies’ Harry/Lucius Fuh-Q-Fest. 117. Lucius is escorting his grandchild – Draco’s kid – onto Platform 9-3/4. When he is doing so, he spots Harry with two children. They’re clearly twins… and they’re also clearly Malfoys. How did Harry end up with Malfoy looking children? Are they his…or someone else’s? And why is Harry raising them himself? I’d prefer this be either during the war or after Voldie’s defeat, either way.

Fidelius, by coffeejunkii (or here) #
Harry/Draco; NC-17, novella. Summary: “The person sitting in front of Harry looks like someone he hated for years, but the memories don’t fit anymore. Perhaps he knew Malfoy at one point, but he has no idea who this man is, aside from a familiar name and a familiar face.” Harry makes custom-made brooms; Draco works as a curse-breaker.

Flame and Shadow, by Maya (mistful) ##
Ron/Pansy; NC-17, novella. Summary: “You can’t think of anything more wrong. Nor can they.” Ron works in “Telemagicking” - laying down the spells to project Quidditch games via Floo; Pansy is in Telemagicking advertising.

Flight Patterns, by Arsenic Jade #
Ginny/Tonks, Hermione/Remus/Snape; PG-13, short; part of the Care of Magical Creatures series (or here). Summary: “Ginny goes into business.” Ginny makes magical brooms.

The Flowers of Malfoy Manor, by Gingertart
Snape/Harry/Draco, NC-17, ~6500 words. Summary: Draco Malfoy is struggling to retain his family home, his wine cellar and his dignity. Then along comes an old school rival who threatens to take away his only source of comfort. What should a Slytherin do when he’s about to lose the things he values? Reach for the moon, of course. Draco rents his house out for parties and serves as a tour guide.

From the Brink of Twilight, by Furiosity (or here) #
Harry/Draco (past Harry/Ginny), NC-17, novella. Summary: “Draco Malfoy had been born into power, watched his family stripped of that power, then faced a terrible realisation: power was relative. Harry Potter had grown into power because of who he was, but he rarely gave it much thought, now that he had it. A difference akin to that between light and dark, though it wasn’t clear to either of them which side was the dark side. As the war faded from memory and time, these two lives ended up on a collision course. Anything might happen when they meet in that strange hour on the brink of twilight.” Draco is an Obliviator.

Ghost Train, by Ptyx
Snape/Harry, adult, short. Mild Dark Humour. Summary: “Two lonely wizards meet in a spooky place.” Snape plays a skeleton in the Ghost Train ride in a Muggle amusement park.

*** Great Expectations, by Arsenic Jade ##
Harry/George, Draco/Fred, PG-13, novella. Summary: “Harry defies expectations, George gets what he wants, Fred and Draco play mind games. A comedy of errors…or something.” Harry opens a restaurant and works there as a chef.

The Hat Trick, by Icarus
Ron/Hermione, R, short. Summary: “Quidditch. Corruption. Ex-Cannons coach Ron Weasley knows far too much. Two years ago he was caught between his career and his girlfriend. Now he has another hard choice to make. The definition of a ‘hat trick’ in gambling: a risky, high-stakes bet.” Ron has a miserable job as a Floo repairman.

How Draco Got His Groove Back, by Gauriel
Harry/Draco, NC-17, novella. Summary: Draco’s life is in a rut. Ruined by the war, all he’s got left is his pureblood pride and a little china shop in Hogsmeade. He spends all day watching others live their lives instead of living his, until, one day, that all began to change. Draco owns and works in the shop that sells kitchenware.

*** I Scream, You Scream, by Jadzialove (or here)
Snape/Harry; NC-17, short. Warnings: Rimming! Summary: Eating ice cream had never been so complicated…or rewarding. Harry owns an ice-cream parlour, among other things.

Imaginis, by Leela (leela_cat) #
Snape/Harry, NC-17, 51300 words. Genre(s): Alternate Universe. Prompt(s): Tip Jar, Portrait. Summary: When children are threatened, Severus Snape does the right thing for once and finds himself saddled with suspended Auror, Harry Potter. Some people can’t help but be themselves, while others appear to be someone else. And, in the middle of it all, a meddling portrait finds unexpected freedom and hope for the future. Snape owns a Muggle/Wizard bookshop; Draco is Ministry’s accountant/financial investigator.

Imperio, by kirasmommy
Snape/Lucius; Peeves/Bloody Baron; R, chaptered fic. Summary: “Lucius Malfoy’s life is turned upside down, and finally finds the right direction.” Lucius Malfoy works as Hogwarts’ groundskeeper.

*** In Good Time, by Linelen #
Gen or Genish Snape/Harry; G, short. Summary: “Healing, like all things, comes with time.” Harry’s a wandmaker.

Indelible Ink, by Zionsstarfish
Draco/Neville; PG-13, short. Summary: Draco, tattoos, and a mysterious ’stranger’. Neville owns a Muggle/wizard tattoo salon.

An Interpretation on Justice (the Aurors and Assassins Mix), by noticeably []
Harry/Draco, R, ~16000 words. Warnings: Angst, character death, infidelity. Summary: The little-known truth about floor sixteen and the department that inhabits it is this: the ten witches and wizards that sit in the front, while attending to things like paperwork and other trivial matters, are only a front to appease the few easily confused, lost individuals that happen to wander into the department unannounced, most usually when looking for another floor. Draco works as the Ministry’s assassin.

Jealous, perhaps? by Localfreak
Gen, ficlet. Summary: Written for the Twelve Days of Christmas Challenge 2007. Draco Malfoy loved his job, apart from one particular type of event he was required to attend. Draco is in charge of the Ministry Archives, presiding over the paper work for all Birth, Death and Marriage ceremonies.

Just Tell Her You’re a Fairy, by Owens_mom
Harry/Draco, R, short. Summary: Draco runs G.A.P., a successful company to help take care of the break-up you can’t handle on your own. Harry sets out to be his best customer.

Kestrel, by lomonaaeren #
Snape/Harry, PG-13, ~25000 words. Summary: When his son James is wounded, Harry goes to Severus Snape for help. Snape, of course, has a price. Harry pays it—and Snape finds himself paying his own price in worry, doubt, awe, and something very much like love. Snape is a most renown artificial limb master.

Kind Hearts and Coronets, by Calanthe (links to the previous chapters are in this one)
Draco/Neville, NC-17, 3 chapters. Summary: “What’s a young, gay wizard to do when he doesn’t have the confidence to go out and win the love of his life? If you’re Neville Longbottom, then you do what your grandmother says, and go to evening classes to learn everything you need to know. And with a teacher like Draco Malfoy, that turns out to be rather more than you were expecting…” Draco and Pansy work for a firm that helps people learn good manners.

Kindergarten Wizard, by AbstractConcept (locked)
Remus/Harry; NC-17, short. Summary: “Remus walks away from the Wizarding world, and Harry decides to find him. Humor/Romance.” Wouldn’t qualify were it purely Muggle world, but it isn’t. Besides, even in the Muggle universe, I’ve never seen Remus work in the kindergarten anywhere else.

Labour, part 2, by Schuyler
Ron/Draco; R, one-shot. Summary: “The secret war is going badly, Ron gets shipped off to Malfoy Manor to spend a summer spying, hijinks ensue. Mostly hijinks of the manual labor variety.” Ron is working as a labourer at Malfoy Manor for the summer.

Last Christmas, by crimson_stained
Harry/Draco, PG-13, short, EWE. Summary: Landing a job as Harry Potter’s new secretary, Draco finds that he has more to offer than a nice cup of coffee.

The Last Exile of Lord Voldemort, by kylegirl
Gen; G. Quote: “I don’t write fanfiction. And if I did, it wouldn’t be Harry Potter fanfiction. And if it were, it certainly wouldn’t be a long weird thing about Voldemort losing his powers and eventually ending up driving an old Volvo and painting houses in western Massachusetts.”

Lee Jordan: Tour Guide, by St Margarets NR
Lee Jordan/OFC, Harry/Ginny, other het ships; PG-13, novel-length. Summary: “Upon leaving Hogwarts, Lee Jordan thinks he’s found the woman of his dreams and the job of his dreams. But those illusions are dashed when Lee’s candor gets him into trouble one too many times. This is the story of Lee and his friends as they balance the demands of work and love, responsibility and freedom, against the backdrop of the second war. This is a fluffy story, of course!” Lee first works in a Quidditch museum, then does some serious hours as a chimney sweep before inadvertently landing the job as the groundskeeper for a Quidditch stadium. Then he somehow becomes an announcer for matches.

Letters, by kerrymdb
Remus/Tonks, PG, short. Summary: “Remus’ new job gives him startling insight to his bride.” Remus works answering Lockhart’s fan mail.

The librarian of Strahov, by Sarka #
Snape/Percy, NC-17, one-shot. Percy works as a librarian.

Like a Circle in a Spiral, by Sullacat
Snape/Harry, PG-13, ~10K words. Summary: “Maybe it was naïve to think that all he had to do was kill one wizard, and the rest would fall into place. That’s what they told him to do, what he trained for. Go Harry, go kill the bad man and things will be better. They lied.” Warnings: mention character death. Severus breeds owls.

The Living Years, by DementorDelta #
Snape/Harry, NC-17, novella. Snarry Games Entry. Team: Postwar. Theme: Romance. Prompt: Sanctuary. Summary: “Severus Snape makes the ultimate sacrifice for Harry Potter. No, not that sacrifice! The other one! And finds Sanctuary in the most unexpected of places.” Harry breeds and races Hippogriffs.

*** The Lodger, by Mad Martha ##
Harry/Draco; NC-17, novella. Summary: “Years after Voldemort’s death and the end of the war, a lonely and alienated Harry Potter decides to take in a lodger. The result isn’t quite what he anticipated. He has more in common with his new housemate than he expected, and together they learn to look life – and the wizarding world - in the face again.” Harry volunteers for work in a Muggle refuge for children.

The Love God, by Mac (ausmac) #
Snape/Harry; R, WIP (on hiatus). Summary: ” After the ‘final conflict’ Snape finds himself financially in difficulty, and fate leads him to the strange and dangerous world of late night radio….” Harry works for Wisards Aid in third world countries. Snape is the host of the late night radio program for sleepless romantics. Although his job is a Muggle one, it’s not without a wizarding aid.

The Magician’s Gifts, by RurouniHime ##
Harry/Draco, Harry/Ginny, R, ~32800 words. Team Canon. Warnings: Het! OMG het! Summary: Harry’s crisis is only the beginning of his journey. Harry and Draco collaborate to smuggle people out of the country.

Marcopolo, by featherduster
Hermione/Pansy, PG, short. Summary: “Hermione’s a cartographer bored with her work and distracted by the changing seasons. Pansy creates perfumes and rarely lets the world touch her.”

Memoirs of a Dark Lord, by Athena
Harry/Neville; NC-17, chaptered novella. Summary: Sequel to Uris’s story The Seance. The story takes place many years later, Harry has retired to Belize and Neville joins him. Harry is an Inn Keeper in Belize.

Mind the Gap, by Elanor
Snape/Harry, NC-17, short. Snarry Games entry.Team: Postwar. Genre(s): Romance & Humour. Prompt: King’s Cross. Summary: “Harry is introduced to the joys of office politics, with Snape as his unwitting guide.” Harry and Snape work as clerks in the Department of Magical Transportation, King’s Cross office.

Mother of Pearl, by Geoviki ##
Harry/Draco, R, novella. Summary: “After Draco Malfoy turns up again a year after the war, Harry is determined to uncover the mystery behind his Order of Merlin.” Draco breeds owls; Harry’s an Obliviator, and his first job, just mentioned, is even rarer.

Mr Personality, by Furiosity (or here) #
Harry/Draco, implied Harry/Ginny; NC-17, short. crack!fic. Summary: “Draco goes to Texas. Yay! Also, Harry is slightly insane, because he is just that awesome.” Draco drives a Ministry car for a living (it’s just mentioned, but it’s so rare that I’m taking it), Harry is a recluse wizard-psychiatrist in Texas.

A National Treasure, by Lakchesis #
Harry/Lucius; PG-13; short. Summary: “Post Hogwarts: Harry goes to the Olympics and sees Lucius Malfoy in the Equestrian Events. He is very well known under an alias. Does Lucius bring home the gold for England? Will Harry manage to catch the attention of the widower he’s thought of since their days in the Order of the Phoenix?” Not quite a job, but unique enough to add here.

Never More, by Stasia #
Snape/Lupin, past Lupin/Tonks mentioned, PG, 15580 words. Summary: Sometimes, it’s harder to come home than it is to leave it. Remus owns a hotel.

Nice Work, If You Can Get It, by Chazpure (or here) ##
Snape/Lupin, NC-17, novella. Summary: After the war, life goes on - perhaps not as it once did, but if they’ve survived Voldemort, Severus Snape and Remus Lupin will find some way to keep body and soul together…even if it means working together. Warnings/Kinks: slash, wanking, oral, anal, toys, mild restraints. Remus and Snape start a sex-toy business together.

No Place at All, by Acid and Sinick #
Snape/Harry, NC-17, 28500 words. Summary: “No matter where you go, there you are.” – Buckaroo Banzai. Snape joins the circus.

No reason to celebrate, by Karla NR
Harry/Draco, NC-17, WIP. Summary: “Ten years after Voldemort finally has been defeated, a celebration ist to be held and much to his dismay it is Draco’s job to gather all the partisipants.” Harry only shows up on conventions held for his honour. Draco is the assistant of the French Minister of Magic and Ron&Fleur own a robe/wand shop in Paris.

*** (not) The Sound of Music, by the_senjou (Senjy)
Snape/Lupin; NC-17, one-shot. Summary: ureima’s prompt was: “Post-war. Both Remus & Snape survive but couldn’t find a reason to keep living. Harry tries to help Remus. Drags in Snape. Remus&Snape bonds, friendship turns to love. Harry says what the hell have I done! Slow build-up, smut, clumsy 1st-time, no previous romantic feelings.” Harry opens, and Snape and Remus both run an orphanage for “the Unforgiven.”

Office Supplies, by ashe_frost
Harry/Draco, PG-13, short. Summary: “Draco is accused of stealing office supplies, but Draco thinks it’s Harry who’s stealing it. But maybe it’s bigger than all of that.” Draco’s a secretary in the Auror department.

On One’s Knees, by Pir8fancier ##
Harry/Draco, NC-17, ~32200 words. Team: Fanon. Prompt: Strength. Warnings: Lots of swearing. Summary: Five years after the final battle at Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy has been paroled from Azkaban and works nights as a janitor at The Daily Prophet. Harry Potter, recently married to Ginny Weasley, is training as a Healer at St. Mungo’s. One wastebasket=one head injury=our story.

*** Paradigmatic Praxis, by unbroken_halo NR
Harry/Snape; R, chaptered fic. Summary: “tayfeth’s bunny posted on snape_potter. Tradition calls for witches and wizards who have never married/partnered to perform a certain ritual when they attain the age of fifty. This ritual will reveal their optimal partner. The result is reciprocal (each person will get the other as a result), but not exclusive (the partner revealed by the ritual might be/fall in love with a third party). The result is not obvious in any way to anyone but the celebrant (no magical bonds are created, no flashing lights, etc.). What happens when your favorite character performs the ritual?” Harry works for Gringrotts as a curse breaker.

*** A Pastoral Interlude, by Your Cruise Director []
Snape/Harry, R, ~12000 words. Genre(s): Romance. Prompt(s): Career Change, Time Capsule. Summary: On an unhappy Christmas Eve in Somerset, Harry finds the last person he expects to see cooking in the kitchen of an inn. Snape works as a chef in a Muggle/Wizard inn.

A Personal Service, by Spiral (darklybright)
Snape/Neville, R, short. Warning: foot fetish. Neville has a summer job at Madam Malkin’s.

Potter’s Interference, by yodels #
Harry/Draco, PG, ~8500 words. Team EWE. Summary: In the years after the war, Draco Malfoy has built a successful business that skirts the edge of legality by becoming adept at figurative sleight-of-hand. Enter Harry Potter, moral upright citizen still chasing after Draco, still suspicious of his every move. When their lives intersect in an unexpected way, will Draco be able to smooth-talk his way out of trouble? Draco has a magical menagerie on the grounds of Malfoy Manor, selling legal and (most profitable) illegal magical animals. Harry heads and works for P.A.W.S., Preservation of Animal Welfare Society.

Practicing the Same Religion, by Geoviki ##
Harry/Draco; R, novella, MPreg. Summary: “Harry thought he knew how far Draco Malfoy would go to save his family, but nothing could have prepared him for what he would witness this time.” Harry’s the youngest member of Wizengamot.

*** Priape’s Wand, by Eaiva le Fay
Harry/Snape; R, short. Summary: When he’d envisioned opening a sex shop this was not what he’d had in mind. Warnings: Misuse of a sex shop, occasional implied kink. Harry owns a sex shop.

Price of Magic, by Ac1d and Sinick ##
Snape/Harry; G to R; novel-length. Summary: “Haunted by ghost of a former student, an ex-wizard struggles to preserve magical knowledge for future generations.” Albus is a bum, Molly works as a waitress.

*** Prime of Life, by McKay (scribbulus_ink)
Remus/Snape; R, one-shot. Summary: “As his 40th birthday approaches, Remus takes stock of his life and decides it’s time to make some changes.” Remus does Research & Development work for Weasley Wizard Wheezes — he develops a line of animated stuffed toys, for example.

A Princely Abode, by Odogoddess
Snape/Harry, NC-17, novella. Summary: “Nearly broken from the war and overwhelmed by his unexpected success in his chosen field, Severus Snape heeds Luna Lovegood’s advice on needing a little change…” Lupin, Harry, and several others own and/or work for a magical home renovation company, Residential Reparo & Rehabilitation.

Professor, by Same Vimes (copperbadge)
G, Gen, one-shot, pre-PoA. Remus is hired as the Knight Bus ride-along.

Property Rites, by Regan V (or here) ##
Snape/Harry, NC-17, novella. Summary: “Not all of Snape’s ancestors were as pleasant and cheerful as he is. Harry learns to appreciate this fact.” Harry works for the Office for the Regulation of Resident Non-Embodied Persons, i.e. Ghost Liason office.

*** R and D, by Busaikko
Snape/Lupin; M. Warning/s: possible noncon, no happy ending. Summary: For Master and the Wolf Fourth Wave, Challenge #78. Severus’ new potion has an unexpected side effect, and Remus’ Snark proves to be a Boojum. Remus is the Head Researcher for Weasley’s Winks and Wanks, the sex div of the jokesters’ company.

Reaching for Rainbows, by Missfortune
Ron/Draco/Harry; NC-17; MPreg. Summary: “A magical bond has formed between Ron and Draco as a result of the final battle with Voldemort. Harry then finds himself as the third partner in their strange threesome where tensions strain and feelings grow in strange ways ” Harry works in a travel agency.

Realizations, by Wishweaver NR
Gen (?); PG-13, WIP (on hiatus). AU from the end of GoF. Summary: “Harry returns to Privet Drive after 4th year and finds it…empty! What do you do when you can’t go to your friends for help?” When the Dursleys abandon him, Harry learns to rely upon himself. He ends up working odd jobs around Diagon Alley.

Recognition, by Pogrebin
Lockhart/Dudley, R, short. Lockhart finds himself teaching Latin at Smeltings with his memory wiped.

The Revenant, by Furiosity #
Harry/Draco, NC-17, ~14K words. Summary: “There’s no mystery to Anton Becket. He’s come to England in search of a different life, and a life is what he finds, but is it his?” Draco’s hired as Hogwarts caretaker.

Right or Easy,by razzle-dazzle-me NR
PG-13, WIP (discontinued?). Summary: “The final battle has been won, but was it worth the cost? Harry, alone and determined, sets out to rewrite history for a better world. Pity the bloody time-turner isn’t working right…” Harry is Divination Professor.

Scythe Not Included and Scythe Sold Separately, by csi_tokyo3 #
Harry/Ginny/Luna, R, Crossover with Dead Like Me. Summary: “Let’s just say the Ministry doesn’t hand out pamphlets for this line of work after Hogwarts.” Luna works as a Grim Reaper.

The Sensible Garden, by RaeWhit (joanwilder)
Harry/Snape, NC-17, novel-length. Warnings: Rimming, Original Character Death (Non-canon character). Summary: “What if Harry had not been given the entire prophecy by Albus Dumbledore? Years later, forever changed by that second part of the prophecy, Severus and Harry are pulled together again, this time by a common love of flowers and gardens.” Harry grows flowers for sale in his own gardens.

Seven Days in June, by Fourth Rose (or here) #
Harry/Draco, NC-17, long. Summary: The war is over. The dust has settled; the survivors are moving on. The hero is finally allowed to go on leave. Draco is a licensed tour guide in Vienna. He is kinda “hiding as a Muggle,” but not really. This story is about the life of a tour guide- not about his adjusting to Muggle-ness.

Snape: The Home Fries Nazi, by Pir8fancier (or here) ##
Snape/Harry; NC-17, novella. Summary: “When Harry defeats Voldemort, the Death Eaters lose their magic. Snape decamps to the United States, where he becomes a fry cook in a diner. Seven years after Voldemort’s defeat, Harry comes to him for advice.” Such an unusual job that I can’t help adding it here even if it’s Muggle.

Some By Virtue Fall, by Dacro (or here)
Snape/Harry, Draco, R, chaptered fic. Summary: “Draco knows what he desires. However, a binding ceremony, an old school-mate and an unborn child stand in his way.” Harry started a non-profit organization with Seamus and Hermione. They contact magical children of Muggles years before they get their Hogwarts letter to prepare them for what’s to come in the wizarding world.

Something Borrowed, by Arsenic Jade (old page) ##
Harry/OFC (Snape/Hermione, Ron/Draco); PG-13. Set in the Origins of Myth universe (which you should read first; Ron/Draco, novel-length). Summary: Harry has a few things to figure out. Harry works in a Muggle zoo (the work isn’t entirely non-magic).

A Spoonful of Sugar, by Fourth Rose #
Harry/Draco, NC-17, 11K words. EWE. Summary: Of all the sweetshops in the world, Hogwarts Potions master Draco Malfoy had to walk into Harry Potter’s. Harry owns Honeydukes.

Squib, by kestrelsparhawk ##
Harry/Draco; past Harry/Ginny, Harry/others and Draco/wife; NC-17, 52K words. Summary: Harry has a respectable life: devoted to his family, teacher to the least-talented of the Wizarding community, retired hero. The Prophet hasn’t caught on to a few things, such as the fact that Harry is gay. He and Ginny want to keep it that way. It’s not a great life, but it’s his – until one day, an old school rival comes by to investigate his class. Suddenly, Harry’s life is no longer predictable. Fully DH-compliant. Harry teaches pre-school Squib children; Draco is into magical carpentry.

*** Surprised by Harry by RaeWhit (joanwilder) (or here) #
Harry/Snape; NC-17, novella. Summary: “Severus Snape has always thought himself rather immune to surprise. Until one night under an enchanting moon of August, a chance encounter with Harry Potter sets him up for the biggest surprise of his life.” Harry takes on Ollivander’s wand-making business.

Survival of the Species, by romaine
Draco/Harry; Scorpius/Albus Severus is the secondary pairing, NC-17, novella. Warnings: creature!fic, MPreg. Summary: Draco approaches Harry on the 9 ¾ platform, after their sons have boarded the Hogwarts Express, and invites him over for tea. The discussion they have leads them on an adventure that neither could have expected. HPDH compliant. Draco is an archaeologist and anthropologist; Harry is a Dragon Rider.

Take A Sad Song (And Make It Better), by Femme ##
Harry/Draco, NC-17, ~45500 words. Team Epilogue. Summary: The last thing Harry wants is to lose his kids. Draco works for Children and Family Wizengamot Advisory and Support Services.

A Tale of Horns, by Pushdragon ##
Harry/Draco (side pairings mentioned and implied), NC-17, 9000 words. Draco spends his fortune (and gets thrills) doing most daring stunts: travelling to the pole, racing Hogwarts Express through a long tunnel, and now preparing to cross the continent west to east on a dragon. Not quite job but occupation it is.

That’s All, by Mila
PG; AU, short. Summary: “As a squib, Harry Potter grew up with no contact with the wizarding world. As a janitor, he knows nothing of the battle raging so close, yet so far away, until he receives a mysterious visitor in the middle of the night.” Since this AU is not non-Muggle, I thought it qualified.

That’s The Way The Cookie Crumbles, by Stray (grey_hunter)
Harry/Draco, NC-17, 4 short chapters. Draco is a seer who writes ‘authentic Chinese’ fortune cookies and later works for weather forecast on Wizarding Wireless. Harry is an exorcist.

There’s Always One More Sheep Around the Corner, or A Week in Cumbria, by coffeejunkii
Harry/Draco, R, 2 parts. Written for grunhilda’s request: Oddly enough, war-worn Harry finds solace among green hills, deep clear lakes and a herd of woolly, sweet, but very stupid sheep. he is also the keeper of a very lovely and secluded B&B (wizard or muggle optional. could be both). workaholic-from-trying-to-forget-Harry and with a secret fetish for women’s lingerie!Draco is sent there by interfering!Hermione to “rest his poor misguided nerves”.[…] Harry breeds sheep.

Thighs and Watermelons, by Catrinella
Draco/Ron; NC-17, short. Written for McTabby’s Blame Each Other challenge; prompt “Ron/Draco: the boys work on a watermelon farm.”

This Flesh Lives In Crimson-blurred Shadows, by Netbyrd (up_on_spindles)
Ron/Draco; NC-17, one-shot. Warnings: Bloodplay, light bondage. Ron is a Master Broomwright who makes top-range brooms.

Through Silence, by dickgloucester
Snape/Hermione; Harry/Ginny, past Ron/Hermione, PG-13, novella. Summary/Prompt: EWE, Snape did not die. Harry runs into Snape by chance one day after the War, and while they finally come to a sort of reconciliation, it is clear that Snape is still intensely unhappy. Hermione did marry Ron, but for whatever reason, it has died and they have divorced (although no superbad!Ron, please!). So, after careful thought and planning, Harry decides… to play matchmaker?! My bunny liked the prompt, but went and played slightly fast and loose with it! I hope the giftee still likes it! Harry owns and Hermione manages Florish and Blotts.

A Time for All Things, by Nimori (or here) #
Snape/Harry (and a spoiler pairing), NC-17, one-shot. AU. Summary: “Severus doesn’t like change, but he may have met his match in Harry Potter — hero of the wizarding world, man with a secret, and Hogwarts’ new librarian.” You can read spoiler warnings on top of the story. Harry’s a new Hogwarts librarian.

Time For Later, by khateh #
Harry/Draco, PG-13, ~15500 words. Team Canon. Summary: When he goes with Al to Egypt on holiday, Harry finds more than he ever expected and learns that people change, sometimes for the better. Draco is head of research on the archaeological site in Egypt.

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, by Mad Maudlin NR
Ron/Draco; R, chaptered novella. Summary: “Draco Malfoy’s life takes a turn for the traumatic when Ron Weasley kidnaps him in order to protect him from a murderous enemey he’s never heard of. With friends like these, who needs enemies?” Ron is a spy for a secret organisation that’s a part of the International Confederation of Wizards and Draco is an American Muggle Businesman/fugitive. Crabbe, Goyle & Millicent own an alligator farm.

*** Tip of the Icing, by megyal NR
Harry/Draco, chaptered novella. Harry owns a wizarding pastry shop and specializes in cakes.

Transformation, by Arsenic Jade (or here) #
Remus/Kingsley; PG-13, novella. Summary: “Remus is still in a cycle of starting over. Kingsley’s been pining for quite some time.” Remus works first at McDonald’s and then at a pet shop.

The Twenty, by Leyna Rountree NR
Hermione/Snape, Pansy/Draco, Harry/Ginny. PG-13, novel-length. Summary: “Hermione and Pansy form an elite group of witches. They possess one unusual thing in common. Facing their most carnal desires, they will harness a power not seen in an age, to save themselves and protect Hogwarts.” Hermione, at various points, works as a calligrapher, a lounge singer, and a bartender.

Two Blokes, A Bike and A Biro, by yodels
Harry/Draco, PG-13, ~8600. Summary: “Out with the old, in with the new. Draco Malfoy’s got his life classified and catalogued, everything in its place. But, Harry Potter’s unexpected appearance at Hogwarts shakes up Draco’s organized world.” Draco is Hogwarts’ librarian.

Two If By Sea, by RaeWhit (joanwilder) #
Snape/Harry; NC-17, chaptered novella. Summary: “Harry spends a summer away from the Wizarding world, working for Severus Snape, neither of them aware of the other’s heritage. Their collision with fate will change both of them forever. Written for the From Dusk Till Dawn Severus Snape/Harry Potter Fuh-Q-Fest Wave X Challenge: AU.” Severus has a Muggle job but it’s so rare that I’m taking it as an exception. He’s a sea captain during summers.

Tyger!Tyger! by bloodcult_of_freud (you’ll have to register; or here) NR
Snape/Hermione; NC-17, novel-length. Summary: “Yet another Marriage challenge fic and an honest attempt at explaining a very enigmatic character ” By the very end of the story Severus is the Minister of Magic.

Ulterior Designing, by Busaikko #
Snape/Lupin; PG-13, short. Written for Snape/Lupin fantasy Fest. pnkngrnd3’s Fantasy: “Humor fic involving a wok, talking cats, and house elves with gambling problems. Remus hires Hermione, who is working as an interior decorator by day, and unbeknownst to him, cupid by night. Someone must constantly say ‘ergo’.” Snape owns a wool shop. Remus writes romance novels under pseudonym.

The Uncle, by Sam Vimes (copperbadge)
Gen; humour, PG-13, short. Summary: “Just some AU silliness I came up with, featuring a crimelord called Uncle, Dumbledore’s usual oblivious self, and the Dursleys getting what’s been coming to them, Sopranos style.” Remus is a mobster similar to the Godfather.

Unity, by confusedkayt
Harry/Draco, PG-13, short. HD Wordcup entry. Team Epilogue. Prompt: The World. Summary: The world is bigger than England. The task is bigger than a hero. And the time is ripe. Harry is an ambassador.

Unlocking Harry Potter and sequels, by sarini NR
Harry/Charlie; R, novel-length, Severitus fic. Summary to story 1: “PostOoTP, PreHBP. Severus has been having dreams, dreams so real they feel like memories. What is his mind telling him? Severitus with a twist.” In places, Harry works in a Dragon Colony.

Untitled, by GMTH #
PG, gen, ficlet; angst. Summary: “Older, not necessarily wiser, in a job that’s not the usual run-of-the-mill fic job.” Harry works at Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlor.

Vehicular Homicide is Only a Misdemeanor but Arson is a Felony (Unexpected Sparks), by Dragon Light (ze_dragon) #
Harry/Draco, NC-17, ~19500 words. Summary: Starting over doesn’t always mean from scratch. Which is probably a good thing when something sinister is lurking around the corner. Fully DH-compliant. Harry’s a forensic magician and criminalist.

Wake Me Up Inside, by Furiosity (or here)
Harry/Draco; PG-13, short, crack!fic. Summary: “It’s not a true Slytherin who does not bartend in a goth club. In the dark.”

*** Wandcrafting, by Ermyntrude Rook (locked)
Snape/Harry, NC-17, two chapters. Summary: The art of wandcrafting opens more doors to Harry than he had ever dreamed of. Warnings: auto-fellatio, light bondage.

Wandlore, by Mijan
Harry/Draco, NC-17, novella. Summary: Harry has a bit of a wand problem. Draco may be able to help him with the solution. Warnings: BDSM, to include “the basics,” plus a very tiny bit of bloodplay. Draco’s a wandmaker’s apprentice.

The Wanton Wonton, by Furiosity (or here)
Harry/Draco; R, one-shot, crack!fic. Summary: “What is Draco Malfoy doing in Hungary? What do zombies have to do with it all? And why the hell is there a plot?” Draco markets magical devices.

The Way of the World, by Zionsstarfish (or here) ##
Harry/Draco; PG, short. Summary: It’s been a while. Draco works as a Wizarding delivery boy.

When There’s Nothing Left To Burn (You Have To Set Yourself on Fire), by Furiosity (or here)
Harry/Draco; PG-13, one-shot, crack!fic. Summary: “Eight years after Hogwarts, Draco– aw, fuck it. Just shut up and listen.” Notes: Written for shikishi’s Crackficathon. My prompt was Draco Malfoy, done in the style of Dostoyevsky’s “Notes from the Underground”. Draco’s work is answering Celestina Warbeck’s fan mail.

Whiskers and Wags, by legomymalfoy
Harry/Draco, NC-17, one-shot. Summary: “Harry can heal animals and save lives, but can a face from the past get him remember to live his own?” Harry’s a Wizarding vet.

White Chocolate, by Dianann (ladyflowdi) (or here)
Harry/Snape; NC-17, novel-length; sequel to Dark Chocolate. Summary: “Harry’s been missing for six years. Where has he been? What mess did he leave behind, and has no choice but to return to?” Harry is a clock maker.

Witch Weekly’s Top Ten Eligible Bachelors, by Blythely
Remus/Harry, Draco/OMC; PG, short. Draco is a restaurateur and Remus runs a radio network.

Wrecking Ball, by Janice Chess #
Harry/Draco, R, 21K words. Summary: Draco’s life becomes slightly less intolerable after an encounter with a secret Wizarding society called the Arcane Order of Builders. But the scrutiny of a certain up-and-coming young Auror may ruin everything. Draco becomes a Builder.

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Many thanks to everybody who helped with the search!

Do you know any other good fics that might qualify? Please, tell me!

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